


Metsuboujinrai.stab

by Bobcatmoran



Series: Metsuboujinrai.fic [3]
Category: Kamen Rider Zero-One
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 13:35:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21458902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobcatmoran/pseuds/Bobcatmoran
Summary: Metsuboujinrai.net gets a roomba. Things go as well as well as can be expected.
Series: Metsuboujinrai.fic [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1614883
Comments: 5
Kudos: 63





	Metsuboujinrai.stab

**Author's Note:**

> This is very heavily inspired by a tweet from [Fizzygingr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzygingr/pseuds/fizzygingr) about the various Zero-One characters and their roombas.

Planning for the extinction of humanity left a lot of downtime, at least if you were the … assistant? Henchman? Child? Oddball hanger-on? Whatever Jin was. And downtime inevitably meant the occasional whining, “Ho-ro-biiii, I’m boooorreed, can’t I help?” 

And the answer was no, Jin could not help, because Jin was not going to be making Zetsumerize keys, he was not going to be helping reprogram the Humagear that was going to be made into an assassin, and he was definitely not going to be directly communicating with the Ark. 

There were only so many errands Horobi could usefully send Jin on, so Jin wound up spending a lot of time exploring the ruins of Daybreak Town, sticking to those areas not visible from the perimeter because the last thing they needed was attracting the humans’ attention. Not yet, anyhow.

Sometimes he came back with things.

There was the ceiling lamp which he mounted upside-down on the table in the back corner of their room. There were an assortment of magazines and books scrounged from offices and apartments. There was a mold for Humagear bodies, which Jin stuck on a shelf with the butt facing out, claiming it was “interior design,” a term which he had looked up on the internet.

And then there was the time Jin came back with a robot.

Not a Humagear like them — Horobi had watched as the humans had methodically eradicated every last Humagear remaining in Daybreak Town after the incident, all except himself.

This was a basic cleaning robot, little more than a vacuum cleaner with a few extra sensors and an autonomous motor. Jin spent nearly a week with the disc-shaped robot upside-down on the table, tools scattered about, trying to rewire its battery and fix a damaged wheel. Somewhat to Horobi’s suprise (but not completely — Jin might be completely dependent on his own internal learning processes without the support of an external computing system like the Zea satellite, but Horobi had built him, and he did a good job, if he did say so himself), Jin’s repairs were a success.

As a finishing touch, Jin painted “METSUBOUJINRAI.NET" on the robot in his best handwriting, and then he taped a knife to the robot’s casing.

“Horobi, look!” Jin placed the cleaning robot on the floor, powered it on, and with a loud whirr, it charged across the floor.

“Very nice, Jin,” Horobi said over the sound of the robot’s vacuum. “What’s its name?”

“Stab-chan!” Jin said.

The robot then, true to its name, made a direct beeline for the nearest wall, and promptly got its knife wedged into the drywall. 

Jin giggled.


End file.
